Sometimes I feel as if my life is running at full speed ahead of where I stand, watching it.. unsure if I was to attempt to chase it, if it could be caught.
I don't want to give up on me. I don't want to give up on anything.
I've been stuck in this cycle of self destruction as I go along hating myself for quitting this and quitting that.
I'm trying to go somewhere.. but it seems all my past decisions are haunting any kind of future i try to make.
i can't and won't blame anyone but myself, even though at times I only saw myself as the door mat.
I'm not really sure where to go from here. I don't know how to take my failures and find success.
I don't know how to keep from caving in.
but like good ol' Jason Mraz states: I don't want to be someone who walks away so easily.
I want to stick around and make a difference that I can make.
So I won't give up.
It's just going to take some patience.. and trust. Maybe a friend or two that also won't give up.
Elska
2 comments:
You have never failed! As long as you keep hoping, keep believing, in yourself and in God, there is no such thing as failure. I have sat back and have watched you go through such horrible pain these last four years, and yes slowly i have seen the life in you be sucked out if you. Even to the point of me worrying you might not come back to the living... But I know the strength of your soul will always carry on, no matter how deep the pain. You are a warrior of great magnitude! I love you, and i have no reason to say I believe in you cause it is not a believe it is a knowledge that you are the strongest of them all. You pain will soon be something that enhanced your life at that is all!.
Shaina. Why Don't you go with meagan.?
Your going nowhere here, and god knows the drama needs to get outa your way anyways.
its a thought. (not that you haven't already considered it or anything.)
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