Maybe one day I can have everything this dwindled heart still has the capacity to dream of.
Home made wind chimes will hang from every speck of the roof as you browse the isles of my book shop, munching on our ridiculously large signature chocolate chip cookie and than you'll sink into a chair that molds so perfectly to your back side that you swear it must have been made for you; as the steaming cup of hot chocolate in your hand combats the temperature outside and you indulge in the complicated world of Tolstoy's words.
I always knew someone couldn't rescue me... but than i fell in love with you and you did, without me knowing i needed you.
You rescued me, and without you I can't figure out how to find that feeling again.
But I know I will never trust in someone rescuing me again.
I don't want to find myself empty again because as of now I am, and I'm so tired of all the transparent glue i've used to fill the holes.
It's time I rescued myself.
it's time I feel proud about something i can do for me. With me.
it's time I look into the mirror and see a 'me' worth loving.
"i refuse to believe all this was just a waste."
Come at me life. Not that I can handle you; but I know I can learn.
-Elska
2 comments:
Shaina... this is not a judgement, but something I have learned and has been my only saving grace in my life so I would like to share. I have found that man can not save one other, I can not save any one though my heart ache to do so. For man is flawed and we can only flaw others deeper by trying to save them because we can't even save our self's. THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SAVE IS SOMEONE WHO ALREADY HAS! Our brother already played the role, he already did the deed, and not matter what the pain is or how deep he understands it, AND HE CAN HEAL IT! I have been looking for a man, a someone that can heal my heart, for all the wounds that have been caused by others. And before I meet Brandon i relied on my Father in Heaven... Than I met Brandon, and though he has given me so much strength and love than I could even imagine... He still couldn't heal the deepest wounds of my heart... yet he saved me... he saved me by showing me Christ, showing me how to heal in him. So I give you this advise, and you can do with what you will... I only wish you to heal... I LOVE YOU!
Holy crap shaina I love you!
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