All I know for Today......

Today is September 26, 2012.

It’s easy to get lost here. It’s easy to forget everyone back home, the reasons I left, and the people who hurt me. I forget it all. Until I choose to remember.

I like that; But then again... I don’t.

I’m creating the same world for myself here that I tried so hard to escape in the states.

I’m learning and making really really huge mistakes at the same time.

I’m letting everyone down at the same time that I’m building a better me.

It’s easy to become everything I wish not to. I’ve fallen into a terrible trap. I’ve created pain. I’ve done terrible things. But in the same breath; I’m finding out what I like and what I don’t. I’m figuring out who I am, how far I’ll go. How far I shouldn’t. I’m taking chances and molding a new life.

In a way, I’m starting fires as I hold onto the water hose.

I’m reinventing myself. Step by flimsy step.

I feel miserable and awful. Yet I feel enlightened and fresh. New and clean.

I don’t even know how to describe who I am or what Im doing.. where im going.

All I know is that I like today. Today is a fine day to live.