navigating life......

Why this path of self destructive, self discovery?

As it has been said before "If we havent already done so, we have the task of becoming ourselves so we may welcome love."

I suppose thats what im doing. Pursueing passions, diving into experience, molding myself amongst my choosing. 

So maybe none of this is really destructive at alol. Maybe im just clipping a path through a shit load of crab grass so i can see the Falls more clearly. 

I'm gonna be here for the next 60+ years or so right, so i guess i want to be something, somewhere, and right now, im just trying to figure out how to get there intact. 

For the first time in my life i have a "family" outside of my own. 

For the first time i only worry about love 3 or 4 times a week rather than my usual 22 1/2 hours a day, everyday. :p

For the first time i feel adult. Responsible. Smart even. 

Sometimes i feel like ive got it all togethe rwith it all lined up. and than other times im stull trying to line it all up. 

But for now, thats my step in the right direction. 

And as long as im still steppin', im ok with all of that. 

This process of growing up is hard. I wont lie. Its challenging every day to wake up and make choices, in any sense. 

But im wrapping my head around it. Im trying. and than i keep trying. 

Tomorrow a new day, and i'll get there. But im going to focus on today. 

Thats fine for me.

 For now.