knowing......

I'll be 25 this year. 

I have a younger sister who is expecting a baby in the fall and practically engaged. 

My best friend has 2 degrees, two kids, a husband and an honorable army contract under her belt. 

Half the friends I've met and known since I was 15 are either Married, Divorced or incredibly wealthy in education and wealth.

 I'm going no where fast. Every opportunity that comes my way I take whether it is logical or not. I'm searching for something in my life that I can't seem to find because I can't seem to figure out what it is. 

I break down on a daily basis. But I also know how to pick myself up quick enough so i don't hit rock bottom. 

I've got no plans. I have no degrees, children, husband, a good job or a good budget plan. In fact, i can't save money for the life of me and my credit is so shot that Its bound to ruin yours. 

I am nothing special. I'm probably just like my neighbor in ways. 

I am ridiculously flawed. 

People can't wait to tell me what I'm doing wrong and they do it so frequently that I've never been able to ponder that on my own. 

They all think they have the answers for me. 

Your right. I cancel our plans, im not a good friend. I can't keep up with email or even reply quickly to a text message. 

But who I am is worth your time. 

Be patient with me and you'll come to see that the person I am is someone who you could enjoy having in your life. 

let me warm up to you. Let me scout you out and make sure your truthful. 

I need to know before I jump. I need to question before I can know. 

Sure, You can find me in another girl. 

You could go to any sally jane or Margaret and love them just the same. 

But they wont be this girl. And I promise you that this girl, despite every warped bit of me... is worth you. 

Only.. who is 'you'. 

If you make yourself known..... I'm ready to know.