A love my way.......

I think I erase my life when it becomes too painful. 

There are far too many large gaps.. forgotten moments.. things I should remember but i don't, things that were supposed to be real but now seem imaginary, words I meant to place somewhere safe and special.. forgotten. 

Self preservation maybe... As if reality could suck me in too far, into a place I'd never recover. 

I'm reminded of "The King and I", where the King dies of a broken heart..... too many wounds placed on his fragile existence.. too many pieces never replaced.

I suppose... secretly, I could be proud of a death like that.... guilty of living too passionately, Loving to deeply, hurting too long. 

But on this morning.. I find myself digging into every corner of my memories for something to hold on to that will keep you all strong in the manners I wish to see you... to love you. 

I can't remember though. 

I tend to forget. 

I don't recall the moments... and so I leave it here upon my shoulders one more morning and hope someday.. somewhere... love won't forget me. 

I want what I cannot have. 

I love whom does not love me. 

I crave a sweetness in my life that this life has not offered me. 

I just wish someone could tell me... ................When will it be my turn..........

.....When will I be loved. 

I don't care for sappy opinions. The truth of the matter is... being unloved.. is lonely. 

And I... am Lonely.